Funny Life Quotes

Funny Life Quotes-Life is hard, after all, it kills you.

Here, We collected some funny life quotes, hope they can bring a smile on your face.

1. I’ve met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you – you’re 20 minutes.
– Jan Sterling

2. “Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive it
isn’t.”
– Richard Bach

3. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody
whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
– Ron White

4. “The only time I don’t have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below
the ground.”
– James Jason

5. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the
inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The
fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.
– Louis C.K.

6. “Life is short. Eat dessert first.”

7. Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for an hour. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for
the rest of his life.
-Terry Pratchett

8. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.”
– Terry Pratchett

9. Life is hard, after all, it kills you.
-Kathrine Hepburn

10. “Life is like the stock market. Some days you’re up. Some days you’re down. And some days
you feel like something the bull left behind.”
– Paula Wall

11. My way of joking is to tell the truth. It’s the funniest joke in the world.
-George Bernard Shaw

12. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.”
– Tom Lehrer

13. I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.
-Jack Handey

14. I drink to make other people more interesting.
-Ernest Hemingway

15. Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
-Ellen DeGeneres

16. Life is an onion and one cries while peeling it.
-French Proverb

17. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

– Elbert Hubbard

18. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
-Mark Twain

19. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
Dalai Lama

20. We go through life thinking we’re invincible, but the truth is we’re totally vincible.
-That Seventies Show

21. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball

22. You can’t always control who walks into your life but, you CAN control which window you
throw them out of.
-Unknown

 

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